Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
