You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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