think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
