Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
