this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
