I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
