I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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