DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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