So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
