If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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