this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
