The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
MIDGETS
????
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
