did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
