I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just want to make out with him forever
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
