Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize