In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
