so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
