I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
