when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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