He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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