i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
