Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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