Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
