no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
