1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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