ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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