I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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