hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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