bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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