he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
