yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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