as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize