Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My bed smells like the plague
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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