I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
