thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
