I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
