his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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