id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
