Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
