I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I would ride that face into the sunset
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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