Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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