So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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