I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
