you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
