I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
