I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Still dying that you shit outside
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
