wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
