I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
