Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Even my vagina gasped.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
