Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize