chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
