I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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