is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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