and you said cock pushups were impossible
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just pee around me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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