my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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