idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize