I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
