Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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