Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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