1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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