I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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