we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
